SARDAR JOKES

• SARDAR WAS GOING TO CHANDIGARH FROM PUNE BY A AIR-INDIA PLANE, HE SAT ON THE WINDOW SIDE SEAT WHICH WAS ACTUALLY MEANT FOR AN OLD LADY. AFTER SOME TIME THE OLD LADY CAME AND REQUESTED THE SARDARJI TO LEAVE THE SIDE SEAT. BUT SARDARJI TOLD "I WANT TO SEE THE VIEW FROM THE WINDO AND SHALL NOT LEAVE" THE OLD LADY THEN COMPLAINED TO THE AIR HOSTESS. THE AIR HOSTESS CAME AND REQUESTED THE SARDARI TO LEAVE THAT SEAT. BUT SARDARJI WAS ADAMANT AND DID NOT TO LEAVE. THE THE AIR HOSTESS WENT AND TOLD THE ASST. CAPT. HE ALSO CAME AND REQUESTED BUT IN VAIN. FINALLY THE CAPTAIN CAME. HE WHISPERED SOMETHING IN THE EARS OF THE SARDARJI, AND THE SARDARJI IMMEDIATELY LEFT THE SIDE SEAT AND RETURNED TO THE MIDDLE SEAT. ASHTONISHED, THE AIRHOSTESS AND THE ASST. CAPT. ASKED THE CAPT WHAT HE TOLD TO THE SARDARDJI CAPT. REPLIED "NOTHING" I JUST TOLD HIM ONLY THE MIDDLE SEATS WILL GO TO CHANDIGARH. ALL OTHERS WILL GO TO JALANDHAR


• WHY CANT' SARDAR DIAL 911? THEY CANNOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE Phone Directory

• OH, LOOK AT THE DEAD BIRD" SARDAR LOOKED SKYWARD AND SAID "WHERE, WHERE?

• NASA was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine. However, on the day of our launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem. Finally, there was an Sardar who offered to help. They NASA people were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything. "Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right" said the Indian scientist. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway. "Bring it back to vertical position" the Sardar said. The engineers did. "Now start the engines" he said. And surprise, the rocket took off and flew into outer space! Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew what to do. He replied - "It is very simple. This is what we always do with our Bajaj scooters in India".

• The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he wouldlose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,but he had a problem.
  "What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
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  I'm 2400 kms from home.

• Sardar ji is buying a TV"Do you have color TVs?""Sure.""Give me a green one, please."

• Sardar Ji calls Air India."How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?""Just a sec," says the rep.Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up.

• Sardar ji is filling up a job applicationHe promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.Then came the column SALARY EXPECTEDAfter much thought he writes: Yes

• Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"He said, "It's a Thermos flask."The boss asks, "What does it do?"He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

• Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaintslike "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

• What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

• What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extrasheet?He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

• There was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point,"Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave..."No problem! We'll attack Amrika, it would take over us and thenwe would become a State of USA and develop automatically."All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surdwas not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCEWE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???"

• Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain."I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman."Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returnedto tell the salesman"I would like to buy this TV.""Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied."Damn, he recognised me," he thought.He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again."I would like to buy this TV.""Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?""Because that's a microwave," he replied.

• Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?Because below 18 was not allowed.

• How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear.

• Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"

• What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

• What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

• How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

• What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? Trying to hold on to a thought.

• Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

• Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.

• How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.

• What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.

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Sardarji's Funda (Long live Bachelors)

Every man should get married some time;
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life!! ...
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Bachelors should be heavily taxed.
It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. ...
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Don't marry for money;
you can borrow it cheaper. ...
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I don't worry about terrorism.
I was married for two years. ...
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Men have a better time than women;
for one thing, they marry later;
for another thing, they die earlier...
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When a newly married couple smiles,
everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles,
everyone wonders why. ...
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife. ..